another day...

of not eating well..he ate about 5-10 bites of applesauce (way less than half) although did eat some cherrios..he has LOVES his juice ALL day long..but wouldn't take a bottle until now at bedtime..for dinner he had about 1/2 of one of his favorite baby foods 2nd stage ham/pinnaple/rice..in the jar is 120 cal. he got about 60...my dad got him to eat an orange tootsie looly this afternoon and vince wanted another tonight (but it was late for a lolly) my dad,sister,and step mom made me my favorite kind of cake for my birthday (which was wednesday) i stuck vince's hand in the cool whip which he pretty much allowed me to do! so i said look vince you can taste it too..well as soon as the cool whip hit his lips he was gagging and wanted to puke but we were able to get him calmed down and wiped clean quick enough..right then my step mom agreed that vince should get the tube..i think when others actually SEE what i see,it makes a differance..vince will hide his face and hit..which would sound like a normal toddler thing by just typing it..but when you see how he is doing it,it makes a big differance..im still not 100% ok with the g tube..but i continue to think about it and in my mind KNOW that this is what is best..sam wants to wait until he is 2..but im not sure we should wait that long..the doctors say even without getting the vitamins and salt that all his levals are perfect..hes not hardley eating,yet still in the like 46th % for weight.. i dont want him to get tiny..and let me tell you,i never in my life wanted a fat,chubby baby..but now im glad that he fits into clothes,that in this situation i HAVE time to think about things..i so badly want for vince to be ok and to eat..but i know its gonna be months or possiblly years before he eats a toddler sized meal and foods..i am still very much afraid that he wont be himself...i know this sounds bad but most people in school look at those who are "different" badly..i know i have said this before but i just want him to grow up and have that perfect life that every parent wants for their child..and maybe,just maybe if we get this tube now..and continue to work with things that are yummy..maybe he will begin progressing! i am gonna have a long talk with the speech and OT therapists on monday,and also with help me grow on tuesday..and i hoping to get him weighed on one of them 2 days!